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I never had a close friend

I never had a close friend

I’ve never truly had a close friend in my adulthood. I decided long ago that I wouldn’t entertain having close friends because the cost of friendship is too high (another blog). So I opted out of having close friends and chose family to be my everything.


When I look around and watch how some close friends interact and enjoy each other, I miss having that type of friendship. I’m not talking about friends as acquaintances. We have plenty of acquaintances we call friends, yet few close friends. Acquaintances are generally in and out! Don’t confuse the two.


If I had to choose a close friend, I would want someone who would be there for me through thick and thin: who knows me inside and out and never threatens to leave when the ship is sinking. Someone who would keep my secrets, not try to steal my boyfriend or husband, not try to compete with me (hair, clothes – basically material things) and would defend me when appropriate.


When I think about it, I know only one Person who showed the greatest friendship of all, and that was Jesus, Remember? He laid down his life for his friends. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) That level of friendship is beyond a human’s comprehension of friendship.


It’s hard to cultivate a friendship such as the one described in the previous paragraph because the world is becoming more of a “dog eat- dog world.” You know, the first law of nature being self-preservation. The type of friendship I speak about is usually harnessed from early childhood. It’s rare to develop such a close-knit friendship with someone in your adulthood. If you have such a close friend, keep your friendship fresh. Once a month, you and your friend should renew your friendship and go on an outing. This outing should focus on the friendship. Discuss what the friendship means to each other and appreciate what each brings to the friendship. This sort of outing keeps the friendship fresh and honest. Try it. There is value in such a celebration.


Remember, a friend will not deliberately hurt or harm you. A friend will be brutally honest, will support you when you’re right and confront you when you’re wrong. Friends work through their differences and should always guard their friendship from outsiders. A real friend is willing to risk his or her friendship to prevent you from bringing harm to yourself or others, and will tell you things you need to know about yourself.


I encourage having a close friend; it builds character, keeps you sane, helps you to stay on point and adds balance to your hectic schedule of living. Yes, I miss having a close friend, but thank God, I have a close family.


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