I finally have a REAL doll!
The day a daughter is born is the greatest feeling! Finally, a real doll! You get to comb hair, dress up your real doll in pretty clothing and take her everywhere you go. You are finally a real mother; one that will not throw her doll in the corner when you tire of playing with her or one that will not leave the doll on the floor where someone can step on her in the middle of the night. A real mother loves, nurtures and is there for her every need at all stages of her child’s development, including the adolescence stage.
“Wait a minute!” shouted the mother. “Did you say adolescence stage? I will still nurture at this stage?” asked mom. “No, I’m still a real mother, but at this stage, I don’t really need to be full time, at her beck and call, because finally, she can do some things for herself. Yes, I was there during her infancy stage and during her early childhood, but now that she is an adolescent, give me a break,” said mom sarcastically. ”I will give her some rules, expect her to follow them and punish her if she doesn’t. She lives in my house and as long as she is under my roof, she will do as I say!” shouted the authoritative mother. ”I’m going to give her a few chores, set a curfew and call it a day,” she continues. ”When the time is right, I’ll get around to a few important conversations, but for now; I shall put this adolescence stage on autopilot and deal with things as they come,” said a relieved mother.
Looking back, this is the most critical stage of our daughter’s growth. When we arrive at the adolescence stage as parents, we should have already been prepared to continue to nurture our daughters mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally on an advanced, educational level. This stage is not the time to let go! This is the stage where we should hold dear to our daughters (as individual thinkers) and help them step by step enter this stage and exit with love for family and mankind. It’s sad to say, but this adolescence stage is where mothers usually lose their daughters and the relationship as mother-daughter becomes toxic. We argue, fuss and fight. This stage becomes the battle for survival of love and unity between the mother and daughter.
Why aren’t we as mothers prepared to help our daughters through the adolescence stage? This is a good question for the Facebook group, My Mother, My Daughter. It is vitally important for moms to know and understand this stage as in current times (real time this generation). This stage of development has so many moving parts we must be prepared for it. Most of us teach our daughters from our experiences. We get our experiences from our mother-line. This is truly a mistake! Each generation brings about a need to consider a change. We must learn to adjust, adapt, and alter the ways we were taught to new ways of doing things with each generation. I truly believe that if we can grow with our daughters through this stage of their development, we will start a new beginning to the demise of the mother-daughter toxic dyad experienced by many. At this stage, our daughters need more love, communication, understanding, trust and respect. If we learn more about this stage, prepare early, and do it right, then we will build a bond between the mother and daughter where she will not cave when disagreements happen. When our daughters arrive at this stage (adolescence), we should be more than ready and prepared.